Balancing Act (Or How I Got Scammed By Lifetime TV)

First, let me say that I love Lifetime Television for Women. I’ve spent hours watching movies like Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? Anything starring Tori Spelling, Melissa Gilbert or Shannon Doherty gets an “A” in my book. Even after what happened, I’m still a fan. I’ve seen every episode of Drop Dead Diva. It’s a great show.

 So it makes the sting of betrayal more painful, coming from them. Imagine being tempted by a good friend, only to be slapped in the face when you try to say yes. The heat of the hand that hits you is all the worse when it come from someone you like and trust.

 But I should backtrack and tell the story of what happened.

 I’m an indie author. There are tons of us, and we’re all trying to get our books noticed. One method I’ve used with a bit of success is entering contests. Most recently my second novel, Starring in the Movie of My Life was an award-winning finalist in both the Indie Excellence Awards and the International Book Awards.

Well, last winter I’m visiting my best friend in a remote suburb of Des Moines when I get an email from Gregory Fake, of The Balancing Act, the morning talk show on Lifetime Television. He noticed my book had won this award, and wanted to talk to me about appearing on their show.

 I was beyond thrilled. Me, on a national morning show? On Lifetime? Hadn’t my friends told me my book would make a great Lifetime movie? This was so cool. I emailed him back, and he said he’d call the next day.

The next day when he called I was on the road back to Minneapolis, pulled over at a rest stop. Even though I was on roaming, I took the call because I was so excited and wanted this so much. Twenty minutes into the call, he tells me that I’d have to pay a licensing fee to the tune of seven thousand dollars just to appear. But I could pay it in two installments.

I know. I should have told him where to go. But I said I’d think about it. Of course there was nothing to think about, but I wasn’t ready in that moment to let go.

 Several hours later when I arrived home, I found an email from him, reneging on the offer. It was just a case of the right fit at the wrong time, he said. Again, I should have told him where to go. But I didn’t reply at all.

 A Google search informed me that I was not the first to fall prey to this scam. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. I didn’t lose any money, except for twenty minutes worth of roaming fees. I didn’t lose anything at all, unless you count dashed hopes. But any indie author, or actually anyone who works hard and dreams of success, can tell you that dashed hopes suck.

 I find it ironic that they call their show The Balancing Act. My life is a balancing act – like so many women, I try to balance work, family, responsibilities, and dreams. Sometimes I’m a success and sometimes I’m not, but I’m always up on that tightrope, trying not to fall. I find it insulting that a show that’s a scam presumes to understand this concept. And I can’t believe their representative is actually named Gregory Fake. But hey, what’s in a name?

 So this is my attempt at closure. Thanks for letting me vent and tell the story. And the next time someone tricks you or lets you down, remember that we all experience disappointment, we all occasionally fall for the Gregory Fakes of the world, and we’re all players in the great balancing act of life. If you ever need a break from it all, I recommend watching some television. No, scratch that. Read a book instead. I have some titles I can recommend…

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So, it's been over two years, and this by far the most popular blog post I've ever written. I'm happy to say that I'm still writing novels and pursuing my dreams. On that note, my latest book, The Standout currently has a campaign on Kindle Scout. If it's picked,  it will mean increased visibility and the opportunity to reach more readers, and I'm sure you know just how important that is.
Please consider nominating my book! It's easy, free, and you won't get a bunch of spam email.
Thank you for helping me pursue my dream!

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The Black Widow and Mean Girls in Fiction

Blog Gang - Spiders

There are so many types of spiders, and people  have such strong reactions to them. But I can think of only one type of spider that has served as inspiration for countless female fictional characters... the black widow.

I did a little reading on Wickipedia about the black widow spider. Turns out she's bigger, stronger, and lives longer than her male counterpart. Oh, and sometimes after mating she'll bite off his head and eat him. (But this is the exception, not the rule.)

Why is this such a popular model for female characters in movies, books, and television? Here's my theory: People like role reversals. The excepted, accepted modus operandi is that in any couple, the man is the strong, stoic one who is isn't quite as sensitive or emotional as the woman. The idea of a woman who can not only take or leave her man, but bite his head off if she so desires, is appealing because it breaks the norm. Keep in mind, I'm deliberately talking in stereotypes here, because in fiction stereotypes are sometimes necessary.

So who are some of the best, or most famous black widow-like characters? Here's a partial list:

• Scarlet O'hara - Her husbands have a habit of dying, although that's not (necessarily) her fault. But to paraphrase Rhett Butler, the most macho guy ever, she can only bring misery to any man.
• Hedda Gabler - If you aren't a theater buff you might not have heard of her, but she is the creation of Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen. Hedda marries for money, but she's in love with her husband's academic rival. However, jealousy and greediness propel Hedda to literally destroy this man, making her a very unsympathetic character. Is it her fault, or is she a victim of society?
• Lady Macbeth - Although it's her husband who actually does the killing, many people feel Lady Macbeth is the more evil of the two. "I've given suck, and know How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me ; I would, whilst it was smiling in my face, Have pluckt my nipple from his from his boneless gums, and dashed the brains out, had I so resolved, As you have done for this." That's hard core! 
• Lolita - Honestly, I've never read it, but the original work sounds like it's actually about a girl who is the victim of pedophilia rather than about a man who is tempted and seduced by a soulless twelve year old. I include Lolita however, because I believe she served as inspiration for lots of other characters who do fit the black widow prototype. Alicia Silverstone in The Crush, Julia Stiles in Wicked, and Kerri Russel in The Babysitter's Seduction. Okay, I watch Lifetime Movies for Women a little too much.

But that leads me to another point. The examples I gave are obviously from many years ago. I'd love to hear people's opinions on some more modern black widow characters!

Greek vs. Friday Night Lights

Two shows I’ve been watching recently are Friday Night Lights and Greek. I’ve seen every episode of each of them. I started watching Friday Night Lights back in 2008, during the writer’s strike. Since none of my usual shows were on, I ordered the discs off of Netflix because Entertainment Weekly so highly recommended it. Even though I don’t like football, I quickly became hooked on the stylistic filming, raw acting, subtle yet dramatic storylines, and the music that would accompany each episode.

Greek is another show I Netflixed based off of high praise from Entertainment Weekly. I figured it would be a good show to have on in the mornings while I worked out, because it would be entertaining and easy to follow. Since it was produced by ABC Family I assumed it would be okay for Eli to see should he get up and join me while I exercised. Well, I was wrong about that last part, but it is cleverly done and funny, the characters’ lives are involving, and even though I disparaged sororities while in college, I got into the show. Now that I work out down in the basement (so I don’t accidentally wake Eli up), I’ve been streaming episode after episode, and I watch while I’m chugging away on my elliptical machine.

So yeah, both shows are most likely written with a demographic in mind that is younger than the one I belong to, especially Greek. But it’s actually Friday Night Lights that has been alienating me lately. I really dislike Tami’s storyline this year. She’s the coach’s wife, and she’s the new guidance counselor in this tough, poor high school that isn’t unlike where I work. Her whole thing is you don’t need funding to help these kids, and let’s create homework centers after school and have the teachers volunteer their time, and we shouldn’t be suspending kids for fighting because they’re the ones who need to be at school the most.

I won’t go into why I disagree with all that (you can see other, past blog posts on similar subjects if you’re interested). But I will say this; while the show isn’t exactly vilifying the teachers who don’t see eye to eye with Tami, they’re not really representing their point of view either, at least not in a way I feel is equal. Nevertheless, at the end of a long day, watching this show does not help me unwind. But I’ll still watch it; I’m too involved in the characters to stop this close to the end. Besides, it’s a quality show. My personal feelings/biases aside, there is no denying that it is well done.

Greek I’ve been enjoying more and more. I’m getting close to being done with it; there’s one more season after the one I’m on, and that’s it. Some characters have already graduated, and others are facing graduation. I love how the characters have been allowed to grow, and most of them have grown a lot. The show’s central theme has become how hard it is to become an adult and figure out who you are and what you want to be. They’re all afraid in some way of letting go of the freedoms attached to being young. Who isn’t? When I watch it I don’t feel like it was so long ago that I was facing those dilemmas, even though it’s been a very long time. Nevertheless, watching it while I work out is a great way to start my day.

The Kennedys vs. The Royal Family

This morning I was looking at the paper and I saw an article about the upcoming royal wedding, which I'm only aware of because I don't live in a cave. I said to Rich, my husband, "I don't get why people are so caught up in this wedding."
"Because they're pathetic," he replied.
Rich has never shied away from strong opinions, and he's been known to be particularly "strong minded" in the morning, before his first cup of coffee. However, as this is not a subject I care much about, I declined to comment back.
The same wasn't true two days ago, when I found to my delight, that the entire Kennedy miniseries that the History Channel decided not to show is now be offered for free on Demand. Yay! I love stuff about the Kennedys, I always have. I'm particularly fond of Bobby Kennedy. If there's a book, movie, or mini-series made about him, then I've read or watched it. Rich concedes Bobby might actually have had a soul, and I agree. I'd like to think there was truth behind all his convictions.
So I don't know why Rich was surprised when I told him how happy I was about the Kennedy miniseries. After he mimed throwing up, he told me it had gotten terrible reviews and I couldn't be serious about watching it.
"I'm not as governed by other people's opinions as you are," I said. He laughed and admitted I won that round.
I'm enjoying watching it. Tom Wikinson as Joe Sr. is excellent, and I'm enjoying Greg Kinnear as Jack and Barry Pepper as Bobby. Katie Holmes as Jackie is entertaining. Part of the time I think she's doing a great job, and then I recognize some mannerism of Joey's from Dawson's Creek, and I'm sort of brought out of the story a little.
Whatever. Everyone has their fascinations. Why do I care so much about the Kennedys and not at all about the Royal Family? They're so similar in so many ways: glamor, corruption hidden under a shiny surface, ideals that got lost in ambition, mysterious deaths...
Hmm. Maybe I've been missing out. It might be time to find a new fascination.