Saturday, February 26, 2011

I Can't Go to Egypt

The other night my baby Pauline, who just about always sleeps through the night, woke up three times.She's a very laid back baby, and she rarely complains about anything. So when she does make a fuss I usually take it seriously. Obviously that night she was thirsty, or for whatever reason she needed some extra attention. The first two times she woke up I fed her. The third time she woke, which was at around 1:00 am, my husband Rich took her downstairs and gave her a bottle.
Pauline isn't big on bottles, and she made it clear as Rich was walking away with her that she preferred my company. But I had a full day of teaching ahead of me, and I've learned from experience that facing a room of 35 high school students without a decent night's sleep is a dangerous prospect.
It was no matter. I felt so guilty hearing her cries from downstairs, that I couldn't sleep anyway.
Long story... after holding her and soothing her back to sleep I finally fell back asleep as well.
That's when the real drama began.
I had a dream that Rich and I were going on a trip to Egypt with my dad. Our plan was to leave out a bowl of water for Pauline, sort of like she's a cat, and a neighbor was going to come in and check on her. I was frantically trying to feed her as much as I could before we left for the airport so I wouldn't leave her thirsty.
Then I realized I had forgotten to look for my passport. I started digging and digging through file folders, but I could find other people's passports and I couldn't find my own.
Secretly I was relieved. I knew I would have to cancel the trip, which meant I wouldn't have to leave Pauline.
But Rich was mad at me, and my dad felt let down, and I was left with that feeling that no matter how hard I tried, nobody was completely satisfied with my efforts.
Hmm... couldn't be symbolic of anything, could it? (Balance between work and family...)
But why Egypt? In the dream I was thinking pyramids, but maybe I have a subconscious desire to be a part of a revolution.

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